Spiritual Abuse

Links and Resources

By
Carmen Brill
November 2, 2005
Last updated: October 26, 2006

What is spiritual abuse?

"Spiritual abuse is the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person’s spiritual empowerment" The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Johnson & VanVonderen 1.

They go on to refine the definition: "Spiritual abuse occurs when a person in the position of spiritual authority uses his or her position to control another person. It involves placing the needs of the person in authority over the needs of the person seeking help. Spiritual abuse can also include forcing people to live up to rigid rules and contributes to a belief based on legalism. No matter how much the individual does or how hard they try it is never good enough leaving them feel unworthy spiritually......Spiritual abuse can also occur when spirituality is used to make others live up to a "spiritual standard." This promotes external "spiritual performance," also without regard to an individual's actual well-being, or is used as a means of "proving" a person's spirituality."

The last point corresponds to one of Dr. Robert J. Lifton's criteria for thought reform, Doctrine over Person, see ICSA for the eight criteria. In such cases, one person is seen as below another or the person's thoughts and feelings are not considered, but steamrolled over with doctrine, the particular teachings of a church group. They are told to "submit" to the "Godly" doctrine and/or the "Godly" person that interprets it, which then enslaves rather than frees them. Someone that questions the doctrine is not met with discussion, but can be told that they are the problem, not the doctrine, their honest curiosity is turned against them to expose a supposed "problem" within themselves as the cause of the honest curiosity. They are pointed out as "rebellious" and "corrupt" for even questioning the doctrine.

Spiritual Abuse may be on the increase, as the love of many, even many that call themselves Christians goes cold. Christians desperately in need of spiritual food and emotional stability find groups that promise to feed them, but find that the teaching imposed on them drains and burdens them rather than giving the freedom that Jesus Christ promised. If you feel stressed out and burdened when and after you go to church, if you feel outcast by those that put themselves up as more "righteous" than you are, if members trample on your private life or your past publicly or in correspondence and per telephone, if you have been forced to leave your church for whatever reason or were pressured to stay, then it may be that you have been spiritually abused. If you have doubts about the way your church does church, read on.

The popular concepts of Spiritual Warfare and Spiritual Mapping also can play a role in spiritual abuse. These concepts are supported even by ministries as seemingly benign as Billy Graham's. See my page about it. An article about A Misguided Focus on the Demonic by Leanne Payne / Pastoral Care Ministries Newsletter. Spring / Summer 2001 expresses concerns:
"For the last three decades we in Pastoral Care Ministries have had to deal with the extraordinarily grievous effects that misguided practices of spiritual warfare have had upon Christian leaders, communities, and families, and most particularly upon children growing up in homes where an all-consuming focus on the demonic has crippled the formation of their minds and imaginations.....These effects include even dissociative identity disorders as well as other emotional and spiritual illnesses. To see evangelical leaders such as C. Peter Wagner and others dress up these unscriptural ideas and methods in pseudo-technical language and then give to them a universal platform has been and continues to be for us among the gravest of concerns."

Even if I have not read all of the following books or been helped by all of the following sites, I list only those that have been recommended to me by those I know that have been helped by them. This is not just a haphazard list. Yet I am not responsible for any content or further links that they may contain and may not agree with every statement on them or in them. Read the books and go to the sites on your own responsibility.

Abuse of Pastoral Authority - A Detailed Case Study is my personal testimony about one instance of spiritual abuse that happened to me. Sorting out what happened and writing it down are often recommended as therapy for the spiritually abused. In some cases of abuse, publicity may save others from going through the same trauma. If you wish to post your testimony of abuse and (ongoing) recovery on my site whether anonymously or not, please contact me at my email address or post a comment on the blog page I have set apart for this.

How do I know if my church is abusive?

Here is a list of 12 points that you can compare to your situation that has helped some define whether their church group was harmful or not, source unknown.

1. Does your church tightly control the flow of information within its ranks?

2. Does your spiritual leader use public shaming as a method to gain the compliance of followers?

3. Is your spiritual leader intolerant of questions or critical inquiry?

4. Is your spiritual leader the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation?

5. Does your spiritual leader have unreasonable fears about the outside world such as evil conspiracies or persecutions?

6. Are you discouraged to associate with former members, being warned that they are "evil" or "defiling"?

7. Is leaving your group to join another church equal to leaving God?

8. Does the surrounding community view your church as a cult?

9. Does your spiritual leader consider it evil persecution when criticized or questioned?

10. Do the goals of your spiritual leader seem to supercede any personal goals or individual interests?

11. Do you fear being rebuked, shunned, or ignored for expressing a different opinion?

12. Do former members often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances?

"If you answered "no" to all of the above 12 questions, your church is very healthy. If you answered "yes" to three or more, your church is showing signs of being unhealthy. If you answered "yes" to six or more, your church is very unhealthy. If you answered "yes" to eight or more, your church is a full-blown authoritarian cult."

• When You Are Ready To Try Again: Going Back to Church by Jeff VanVonderen
  "In The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, David Johnson and I identified common characteristics of spiritually abusive systems. When these traits are present they make the relationships in that spiritual family hurtful. I would like to use those characteristics of graceless churches as a starting point from which to venture into a discussion of the characteristics of grace-full churches."
• Cultwatch has a Super Apostle Detector that you can use to test your church leader or someone that claims to be an apostle.
• Spiritually Safe.Com has a list of Warning Signs that might help you find out if your church is spiritually abusive.
  "The following additional list of warning signs (symptoms) is not an exhaustive list. Do keep in mind that if your church exhibits four or more of these warning signs, you are being led by a spiritually abusive leader or group of leaders, and should begin praying for God's protection and guidance, while immediately seeking the counsel of mature, trusted Christians within your community."
• An article at Wellspring Retreat & Resource Center Choosing a Church After a Painful Experience The article has tips on what to look for and what to avoid when looking for a new church, especially for those that have suffered elsewhere.

Books:

• Bold Love by Allender/Longman
  Publisher:Navpress Publishing Group
  ISBN: 0891097031
  Book review from Navpress.com, see the full book review here.
  "DID JESUS CHRIST LOVE PEOPLE UNCONDITIONALLY?
  If Jesus had practiced the kind of love many people advocate nowadays, He would likely have lived to a ripe old age. We've come to view love as being nice—forgiving and forgetting, yielding to the desires of others. Yet the kind of love modeled by Jesus has nothing to do with manners or unconditional acceptance. Rather it is shrewd, disruptive, courageous, and—as a result—socially unacceptable....
  "Bold love is anything by passive," writes Dr. Allender.....
  So if it feels like you've turned the other cheek so many times your head is spinning, it's probably time to take a second look at your practice of love. Because there's nothing redemptive about a love that just accepts people for who they are."
  "I have read the book myself and it helped me make decisions that I had put off much too long about certain relationships. I thought it would be about forgiving and forgetting, a sort of pale and smothering way of Christian living, but quite the opposite is true. I don't agree with every word that the authors write, but there is much truth in the book that is worth looking at in my opinion. Although I try to avoid words like empowerment, that is what this book together with counseling did for me. It requires the individual to look honestly at himself and at the troubling situation he is in, freely showing his heart to God and letting God show him what is in it. That is not easy, but necessary if healing is to take place. Then the authors challenge the reader to act. This book together with counseling, shocked me into bold, active love that has set me free. Not every biblical counselor might recommend it, the actions and results of bold love might be anything but comfortable and predictable, certainly not to the liking of pharisaical types. I am thankful that my counselor showed me that the paradigm and paradox of bold love is possible, even biblical." - Carmen Brill
  Get the book at Amazon.
• Boundaries by Cloud/Townsend
  Publisher: Zondervan (April 1, 2002)
  ISBN: 0310247454
  Amazon.com
  "In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. --Gail Hudson --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
  Book Description
  Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts, emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own."
• Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem by Marilyn J. Sorensen Ph.D.
  Publisher: Wolf Publishing Company (1998)
  ISBN: 0966431502
  Review by cynthian.1 at Amazon:
  "I am a mental health counselor at a maximum security prison for women. I came across Dr. Sorenson's book through an inmate. The book had been passed around to many women and my client was eagerly devouring it.
  She says: "Breaking the Chain of LSE has helped me in so many differnt ways. It has taught me how LSE was formed from a young age, that it is not easy to overcome unless you really want it and want to work hard for it. This book has shown me that it will take some time but it is possible. Now I know why I have hidden behind my weight problem for so many years, why I have relationships which only end in failure, why I continue to make the bad choices that I have made. This book has helped me in so many ways. If you want to overcome LSE, this is the book for you. I want to thank Dr. Sorenson for writing a book that helps so many people." Anonymous Inmate
  Of course, I then read the book, too, with a critical eye and was so impressed with the ease with which it is written, non-intimidating, with compassion, inspiring hope and motivation for change. I now use the book and it's companion workbook with many of my clients. They love the concrete work and the insight it gives them. They always bring their homework back!
  Thank you, Dr. Sorenson, for this wonderful book. PS. I learned some things about myself, too!"
  Dr. Sorensen is the founder of the Self-Esteem Institute
  Get the book at Amazon.com.
• Coercion by Douglas Rushkoff
  Book review from Rushkoff's site: "Who, exactly, are "they"? And why do we listen to them? .... we each have our own "theys" — bosses, pundits, authorities, both real and imaginary—whom we allow to shape our lives and manage our futures. Like parents, they can make us feel safe. They do our thinking for us. We don't have to worry about our next move — it has already been decided on our behalf, and in our best interests. Or so we hope. .... Unfortunately, not everyone to whom we surrender this control has our interests at heart. What's more, Rushkoff says, as much as we try to resist them, they are always finding new and improved ways to manipulate us. Whether it's a floor plan at a shopping mall designed to make us lose our bearings, a television ad that anticipates our reaction to advertising, or a tiny spy program planted on our computers by an Internet merchant, the world has become a battlefield of subtle persuasion...."
  Here is the complete text of chapter seven.
  See a review of the book on his site: http://www.rushkoff.com/coercion.html
  Order Coercion at Amazon.com
• Controlling People by Patricia Evans
  Summary of book from Verbal Abuse Books (SEE their huge list of other books at the bottom of their page.)
  "Controlling People takes us on a journey through a maze of senseless behaviors woven into our world. We discover the words and incantations that produce a controller's spellbound behavior. And, we find out how to fend off any controller's attempts to control us.
  Based on thousands of cases, CONTROLLING PEOPLE reveals how controllers struggle to shape the lives of others. We’ll discover the forces that compel them and why they, as if under a spell, often destroy the relationships that they want most to preserve. We’ll see for the first time the processes that shape them and most important, we’ll find out what controllers are really trying to do. We’ll know why, when they tell others who and what they are—what they think and feel, and even their motives, controllers don’t realize the senselessness of their own behavior. Lastly we’ll meet some formerly spellbound controllers and find out what they have to say about themselves."
  Order the book at Amazon.com
• Cults In Our Midst by Margaret Thaler Singer and Janja Lalich
  From the Foreword by Robert J. Lifton:
  "Margaret Thaler Singer stands alone in her extraordinary knowledge of the psychology of cults. Over decades, she has brought to the subject a rare combination of professional skill and personal courage. Singer recognizes the complexities of the cult phenomenon. She is aware of a continuum from relatively innocuous if one-sided efforts at persuasion at one end to systematic thought-reform procedures on the other. She is also aware that psychological manipulation is at the heart of the matter, with or without the use of physical violence. At the same time she knows well that the more general issue of totalistic groups transcends any professional discipline and has to do with larger social and historical forces....
  First, all cults have a charismatic leader, who himself or herself increasingly becomes the object of worship, and in many cases, the dispenser of immortality. Spiritual ideas of a general kind give way to this deification of the leader. Second, in cults there occurs a series of psychological processes that can ber assosciated with what has been called "coercive persuasion" or "thought reform," as described in soem detail in this book. And third, there is a pattern of manipulation and exploitation from above (by leaders and ruling coteries) and idealism from below (on the part of supplicants and recruits)."
  I have read this book and can say that it is a good fundament for knowledge about cultic control methods that are also used in some churches today, and a must-have addition to any personal library concerning cults and thought-reform methods. The author explains that even highly intelligent persons can be lured into a cult at a time of personal weakness. Intelligence does not always mean immunity against mind-control methods, but information always is. Knowing about thought-reform methods can effectively protect against them if this knowledge is kept in mind. Carmen Brill
  Order the book at Amazon.com.
• Damaged Disciples by Ron and Vicki Burks
  An anonymous comment: "For those who may be aware of Wellspring Retreat Center, Ron Burks is the founder of Wellspring. Ron and Vicki were a part of the shepherding movement for 15 years."
  Excerpt from A book review by Pat Knapp.
  "Ron and Vicki Burks share a personal, up front look at: the experience in, coming out of and recovering from, a highly abusive religious system that promoted a heavy handed authoritarian/shepherding perspective. They begin with a brief, clear history of the leaders of this movement, (historically known as the "Ft. Lauderdale five") Bob Mumford, Derek Prince, Don Basham, Charles Simpson and Em Baxter.
  The Burks then share with the reader what it was like being in and eventually coming out of this movement. They share not only on the "feeling level" but also many of their thoughts/doubts, and struggles. They speak of the theological foundations of the aberrance, in what they term "The Pillars of Heaven."
  These pillars include: "the covering" - "delegated authority" - "kingdom taxes" - "covenant loyalty’ - "productivity equals spirituality" - "dichotomy of the ‘natural’ and the ‘spiritual’" and "headship as a hierarchical concept."
  A connection between dysfunctional family issues and questions of how the shepherding movement functions are given. In the last chapter titled "The First Love" issues of healing from such involvement are discussed."
  Order the book at the wellspring book store
  WELLSPRING RETREAT - Recovery for Victims of Cults and Cultic Abuse
• Growing up Fundamentalist: Journeys in Legalism & Grace by Stefan Ulstein
  Publisher: Intervarsity Pr (August, 1995)
  ISBN: 0830816186
  Here are some excerpts from a book review by Craig Rairdin. "Fundamentalism is a term that has had many definitions. Ulstein presents a working definition for the purpose of the book, then proceeds to present case studies of about 20 individuals out of over 100 interviewed....Ulstein's characterizations of fundamentalist worship, preaching style and policies are almost humorous in their accuracy......One of the most fascinating observations I took away from this book is how we (for simplicity I'll include myself among "fundamentalists" though I'm not sure they'd have me) treat those whose sins are "worse" than ours.....We fail to see that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."....The point is that we've taken something that's clearly a matter of personal taste and opinions, wrapped it in biblical "separation from the world" language, and turned it into a rule for "holy living." And this is just one example. Multiply this by rules for what to wear, what to watch, where to go, what to read, etc. and you have a formula for dysfunction that is impeccable. This book is a fascinating read if you are or have been involved with fundamentalism."
  Order at Amazon.com
• Healing Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue
  Publisher: InterVarsity Press (October, 1993)
  ISBN: 0830816607
  An anonymous recommendation: "I highly recommend it! in the last chapter (I returned it to the library so I'm not sure what page) there are 9 tell-tale signs if your church/leadership spiritually abuses the congregants. I was flabbergasted to see that the church I just left regarding the situation we left over was high on all signs. We did the 1-10 scale, 10 being the worst."
  Excerpt from a book review at FACTNet.org. "Having grown up in an abusive church, I found it difficult even to give myself permission to pick up this book and start reading. His style was disarming, and the accounts of people's experiences were chillingly compelling. After the first few chapters, I was able for the first time in my life to use the word abuse in connection with that church."
  Order the book at Amazon.com
• Prayer, Stress, and Our Inner Wounds by Flora Slosson Wuellner
  Publisher: Upper Room Books (March, 1985)
  ISBN: 0835805018
  Anonymous recommendation:
  I have been helped by (this book). For me, it was a kind of "revelation" that we can "confess" our "woundedness" as well as our "sinfulness" to God and can expect him to deal with these issues in different ways.
  Wuellner apparently has other books out about Christian meditation. This book is recommended on sites that also endorse non-Christian meditation. I am not keen on the idea as a whole, and have not read this book directly, but am only passing on the recommendation by someone else, and so recommend caution if reading this one or others by the same author.
  Order this book at Amazon.com
• Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves by Steven Hassan
  Publisher: Aitan Publishing Company (May, 2000)
  ISBN: 0967068800
  An anonymous statement:"This book is about dealing with a loved one who is in a cult."
  A review of the book at Apologetics Index "Hassan's pioneering work in the field of cult mind control grew out of his own need to recover his pre-cult identity and re-integrate the shards of his own shattered personality. A licensed professional, and creator of the Freedom of Mind Resource Center and the newly established non-profit Freedom of Mind Institute, Steven Hassan has saved the lives of both cult members and their anguished friends and families, offering insight into the dark dealings of secret groups while developing life-saving strategies to help loved ones recover their former identities and "be themselves" again...Hassan's revolutionary Strategic Interaction Approach replaces crude deprogramming and kidnapping rescue attempts with an in-depth process......"
  Order the book at Amazon.com
  Steven Hassan's site: Freedom of Mind.com
• And the Shofar Blew - Novel by Francine Rivers
  Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers (February 1, 2004)
  ISBN: 0842365834
  Normally I wouldn't recommend just a novel, but it has helped some serve as a guide to what was wrong in their church. Giving it to others might be a less intrusive way of showing them that they may be in a situation that could damage them. They can compare the situation of the characters in the book to their own for themselves in the friendly setting of fiction - that emulates a real-life situation that has happened to unsuspecting Christians.
  Anonymous Recommendation:
  "It's about a pastor who started out okay but the drive to success messed him up (along with some other things.) He began to do a lot of the things that have been happening in "my" church ........Some friends and I have read the book. After reading the book many left the church and attend elsewhere.....I've given this book to many who are questioning what has been going on and it's been like WOW...have they been to our church?! I feel like I'm giving life preservers to drowning souls that can't quite put their finger on the problem but have an ah-ha moment once they have seen it in print.....Rivers said she received so many letters about these experiences she wrote a composite of all them and put them in her book. It is a good read..."
  Read the first chapter as a PDF file.
  Get the book at: Amazon.com
• The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout Ph.D.
  Publisher: Broadway (February 8, 2005)
  ISBN: 076791581X
  Excerpt from Review by James A. Nathan at Amazon: "Stout writes with striking lyric sensitivity and grace about those who have no ability to feel love, remorse, guilt, or joy. Oddly these are some of the most engaging people we will ever meet. Sociopaths, Stout tells us, are as ordinary as a virus. An intimate association with a sociopath carries its own warranty of being a party to a train wreck. Sociopaths can feign every kind of emotion; yet they know but feral pleasures. Sociopaths find rewards in the hunt. Their joys are in conquest and winning. They understand love, but can't feel it. Hence, sociopaths are condemned like the Flying Dutchman of legend to cruise the shoals of real emotion as distant observers, never finding the safe harbor of family, lasting friendship, or love. Stout's work is especially useful for victims. Those who have experienced a sociopath-- a neighbor who seems to thrive on a campaign of sabotaging our relationships and those of our children, a family member who never feels remorse, a boss who takes odd pleasure in demeaning workers and takes credit for our best ideas, a lover who can never be wholly pleased, but works instead to bedevil-- will recognize Stout's finely etched portraits."
  Get the book at Amazon.com
• Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason
  According to descriptions of abusive pastors that I have read, it is possible that some of them have Borderline Personality Disorder. By recommending this book, I am not suggesting that anyone should put up with such a person in a pastoral position (that would be intolerable), but hope that the book may be a help to those that have suffered under such a pastor or in a relationship with a BPD person, as an aid to the healing process.
  "Do you feel that anything you do or say will be twisted against you? Are you being accused of things you never did or said? Do you try to avoid horrible, confusing arguments by concealing your thoughts and feelings? Are you at the end of your rope?"
  Book description and table of contents at BPD Central
  A workbook can also be purchased, The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook, 2002 by Randi Kreger and James Paul Shirley.
  Buy the book at BCH "Our catalog features a wide variety of unusual, unique and hard-to-find books, videos, CD's, and audios. Browse our Bookstore and learn about our helpful services."
  Be careful, they also have some esoteric books that I personally would not recommend.
• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson & Jeff Van Vonderen
  Publisher: Bethany House Publishers (October, 1991)
  ISBN: 1556611609
  " Johnson and VanVonderen coined the term, "Spiritual Abuse". As pastor and counselor/pastor they have seen and analyzed the causes and devastating results of spiritual abuse in Christian's lives. The book explains the difference between grace and legalism, spiritual freedom and spiritual slavery. It defines spiritual abuse and suggests how to avoid it and avoid being abusive. In my opinion, they do have a healthy interpretation of scripture, that neither confines nor threatens, rather it reveals the abusive systems and gives the abused peace and security. It seemed that they knew exactly what I had gone through, so many points corresponded to what happened to me, I wish I had read this book before. It addresses the abused and the abusers, every pastor should read this and consider whether he is really leading humbly or placing a burden on those that look to him for guidance. I'd recommend the book to counselors as well and anyone that has been spiritually abused or suspects that something isn't quite right in his own church, or that of a friend." Carmen Brill, April 16th, 2006.
  Excerpt from a review at FACTNet.org
  "Churches are meant to be safe places where spiritual leaders help and equip the members for the work of service. There are some churches, however, where leaders use their spiritual authority to control and dominate others, attempting to meet their own needs for importance, power, intimacy or spiritual gratification. Through the subtle use of the right "spiritual" words, church members are manipulated or shamed into certain behaviors or performance that ensnares in legalism, guilt and begrudging service. This is spiritual abuse, and the results can be shattering. Deeply ingrained spiritual codes of written and unwritten rules control and condemn, wounding believers' spirits and keeping them from the grace and joy of God's kingdom. Believers find themselves enslaved to a system, a leader, a standard of performance that saps true spiritual life....."
  
  Order the book at the Innervention Web Store, along with other books by Jeff VanVonderen.
  Order the book at Amazon.com
• Surviving a Borderline Parent - How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem By Kimberlee Roth, Freda B. Friedman, Ph.D., LCSW, Foreword by Randi Kreger
  Being raised by a Borderline Personality Disorder parent may have prepared some to be open to manipulation by controlling and abusive pastors. This book may help some understand why it happened to them and how to prevent it in the future.
  "The effects in adult children can range from low self-esteem and perfectionism to the inability to trust others and paralyzing guilt. But they can be overcome. With sections on The Past, The Present and The Future, Roth and Friedman offer readers not only validation of their childhood experiences but practical, realistic suggestions for moving on and creating change."
  The book is available at BCH
• Take Control by Michael A. Janke
  Publisher: Madison Books; 1 edition (October 1, 2000)
  ISBN: 156833172X
  An excerpt from Amazon.com by BJ "bbigham"
  "I used to think I had no self-discipline, but this book helped me realize that we all have it; it is a skill that can be honed. Being the cheapskate I am, I borrowed the book from the library. After I checked it out for the 4th time, I realized it was worth purchasing. I re-read sections now and then for re-enforcement. Janke isn't the most eloquent writer, but that's a plus in this book. You're not getting a bunch of pretty words -- you're getting hard hitting and practical advice on how to take control of your life. While some of it may be fairly commonplace, the way he presents it -- relating it to his experiences as a Navy Seal -- makes is very powerful."
• Toxic faith by Stephen Arterburn
  Publisher: Shaw; 1st Shaw ed edition (February, 2001)
  ISBN: 0877888256
  Excerpt from a book review at FACTNet.org
  "Toxic Faith distinguishes between a healthy faith and a misguided religiosity that traps believers in an addictive practice of religion. It shows how unbalanced ministries, misguided churches, and unscrupulous leaders can lead their followers away from God and into a desolate experience of religion that drives many to despair. Toxic Faith shows readers how to find hope for a return to genuine, healthy faith that can add meaning to life. In the words of the author, "I want to help you throw out that toxic faith and bring you back to the real thing.""
  Order the book at Amazon.com.
• Twisted Scriptures (Breaking Free from Churches that Abuse) by Mary Alice Chrnalogar
  Publisher: Zondervan Publishing House
  ISBN: 0310234085
  See a condensed version of the book here.
  Here is an excerpt from Chapter 1, The Discipleship Game, "In abusive discipleships, sin is expanded to mean almost anything that the leaders do not like (e.g., challenging leaders’ actions, not obeying leaders’ advice, disagreeing with leaders, questioning leaders, or openly criticizing leaders).
  The most common non-Biblical idea that is planted in members’ minds by abusive groups is that they are rebellious, hardhearted, or prideful when they decide not to follow the group's rules. Breaking a rule is usually taken to mean sinning against God. This is coercion because these dedicated Christians will force themselves to follow agendas they would otherwise refuse to accept."
  From the back cover:
  "This book uncovers the subtle but powerful techniques by which, in the name of truth, controlling leaders manipulate and intimidate countless believers. It also supplies tools for overcoming persuasive, deceptive teachings and practices."
  "The book is more geared to those that have been in mentoring churches, with controlling cell-groups and the like, but I found material that helped me in my situation as well. The author's comparisons of the twisted meanings of scripture and the intended meanings were also very insightful and enlightening." Carmen Brill.
  Here is a book review from FACTNet.com
  Twisted Scriptures Home Page
  Order the book at Amazon UK.
• When Bad Christians Happen to Good People by: Dave Burchett
  Publisher: WaterBrook Press (January 15, 2002)
  ISBN: 1578564905
  Here an excerpt from a review at his site, be careful, the description of his new book, Bring'Em Back Alive may trigger. Although the book has been recommended to me, I have reservations about some of the concepts that the review implies, the words, "change agents", and "transformation" are particularly suspect. Read at your own discretion.
  "Burchett calls every reader to greater accountability and self-examination and shows how they can become godly, effective agents of change, both within and outside the body of Christ."
  See Dave Burchett's Home Page
  Order this book at Amazon.com
• Without Conscience by Robert D. Hare PhD
  Publisher: The Guilford Press (January 8, 1999)
  ISBN: 1572304510
  The book is also available in German as:"Gewissenlos: Die psychopathen unter uns", Publisher: SpringerWien NewYork. But I was unable to locate it at Springer.
  The book is available in other languages as well, listed at Dr. Hare's site below.
  An excerpt from a review at Amazon by "dropin'em". "In this book, Hare (one of the most respected authorities on Psychopathy and aruguably the most knowledgable in the world) explains that serial murderers are the rarest expressions of psychopathic disturbance. Much more likely than encountering a serial killer he explains, is an encounter with a savvy, smooth talking con artist. One out to use charm, manipulation and agression to control and exploit his fellow man. Goals for this behavior include sex, money, material posessions or occupations. Hare explains not only why psychopaths are highly inclined to commit crimes but what makes psychopathic criminals different than thier "sane" counterparts. He also gives specific descriptions of the symtoms that define the disorder. To sum it up, this book will fascinate, shock, educate and even scare its readers. From psychology students, to liscensed practitioners, to true crime fans, to those involed in any aspect of the criminal justice system or even to those who have no previous interest in the subject this book is a must have. THESE PEOPLE LIVE AMONG US."
  See Dr. Hare's Homepage
  Order the book at Amazon.com

Addresses

• A biblical counselor at Milan that speaks English and Italian. We didn't always agree on the meaning of scripture, but counseling with him was productive. He has schooled with Larry Crabb and counsels along the lines of Bold Love by Allender and Longman (described elsewhere on this page). He is not always easy to reach by phone, contacting him by email is better. Contact Daniel Standridge (known as Daniele by some) at:
  daniel.standridge@crossworld.org
• A friend was helped by her English articles: Inge Tempelmann, Christian Therapist IACP and Consultant for Psychotrauma was involved in full-time pastoral ministry for a number of years. Today she works as a Christian counsellor in Lüdenscheid, Germany. Working with spiritual abuse survivors and presenting seminars about this topic are presently the priorities of her work.
  She can be contacted at:
  Email: tempelmann@aol.com
  Some information about Spiritual Abuse is at this site: Hope for Europe

Sites:

• All About Counseling.com
  "This site is about providing helpful information on counseling and social issues, and having a place for people to express themselves in those areas."
• The National Association for Christian Recovery
  "Resources for Christians recovering from addiction, abuse or trauma." With Library, daily meditations, links and articles.
• Christian Recovery International
  "A coalition of ministries dedicated to helping the Christian community become a safe and helpful place for people recovering from addiction, abuse or trauma."
Their Links Page is choc full of useful information.
• Christian Survivors Ministries
  We are an active community for survivors of all types of abuse. Our aim is to bring friendship and support to survivors in need, and ultimately to help one another come to a place of healing in our lives! Christian Survivors Ministries is centered around a well moderated message board. We have a five year old, & thriving community of survivors all seeking to support each other through the realities of daily living as a survivor! There is a gradually increasing set of resources at CSM. I would like to draw your attention to the wonderful journalling workshop, which is directed towards survivors who use journalling as an outlet. There are also several new articles on issues of survivorship! If you require links to emergency services and support in your country, please try the helplines pages in our resourcessection.
• Spiritually Safe.Com
  "The purpose of Spiritually Safe.Com is simple: To provide a comprehensive list of resources and information for victims of spiritual abuse. It is the mission of Spiritually Safe.Com to promote hope, healing and spiritual truth, while providing individuals and churches with the tools necessary to recognize the warning signs and the dangers of spiritual abuse." For a list of warning signs that might help you find out if your church is spiritually abusive, see their Warning Signs page.
  "The following additional list of warning signs (symptoms) is not an exhaustive list. Do keep in mind that if your church exhibits four or more of these warning signs, you are being led by a spiritually abusive leader or group of leaders, and should begin praying for God's protection and guidance, while immediately seeking the counsel of mature, trusted Christians within your community."
• Exit & Support Network
  Aiding those spiritually abused by Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and all affiliated high demand offshoots. "The following emotional and psychological difficulties are common with survivors, especially from the Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God, Living Church of God and other authoritarian offshoot groups." Common Emotional Difficulties After a High Demand Group Common Spiritual Difficulties After a High Demand Groups "Not every survivor will have all of these, or may suffer from additional ones. In some cases these feelings may take years to subside, but it is important to realize that, while painful, they are normal feelings and the true God understands and will not punish you for feeling this way. Keeping a journal and sorting one's overwhelming feelings is most healing and helps work through feelings of betrayal and abuse. Finding a qualified person to listen non-judgmentally and empathetically to your abusive experience is also vital. Be sure and check out our booklist for more help."
• Association of Former Pentecostals
  At AFP, our goal is to help you -- the former Pentecostal or ex-Charismatic -- find fellowship with others who've left this belief system, and to help you find answers through resources such as thoughtful essays, and internet resources. We also accomplish this by providing active discussion and support forums.
  Often, people leaving these faiths feel alone, confused, or doubtful -- feeling that perhaps they've made a mistake. We're here to let you know that you are not alone! Many people have "walked away" and are living better for it! We hope this site and our resources can be of interest -- and perhaps even some help -- for you. Even if you're already completely "over" this religion, we hope you'll hang around and help us help others!
• Stop Spiritual Abuse
  "We focus on the issue of spiritual abuse in Bible based churches and have a secondary focus on the United Pentecostal Church....No one expects those currently associated with the United Pentecostal Church to be particularly pleased at finding a web site dealing with issues pertaining to abuses of the ministry or error in teachings......I encountered others coming from UPC churches that experienced similar circumstances....even outside the United States....It soon became evident that this abuse was not restricted to my local UPC church......I felt led to take an active role in exposing abuse in churches and to specifically help those who left a United Pentecostal Church.....I have endeavored to present issues in a reasonable and fair manner. Opportunity is given to current UPC members to share and when doctrinal matters are presented, ample access is provided to UPC writings. I know of no other web site addressing the UPC that presents the issues in this manner."
  See the book list.
• Reveal
  "An Organization of Former Members of the International Churches of Christ (ICC) (ICOC), Boston Church of Christ/"Boston Movement", and Crossroads Church of Christ/"Crossroads Movement.
  REVEAL is primarily an educational organization. We provide information on:
  
  • The ICC itself -- history, doctrines, and practices
  • Thought Reform/Mind Control -- what it is and how it works
  • Exit Counseling -- what it is, how it works and who to contact
  • Recovery -- counseling, rehabilitation, support groups, etc."
• Ex Church of Christ
  A support group for ex-members of the Churches of Christ.
  "Although most Churches of Christ have changed dramatically in the past 30 years, there are still 20% that are hard-line. This support group is intended for people who have left these hard-line or hardcore Churches of Christ."
  They have a list of 12 unbiblical points that are taught in a minority of Churches of Christ, see their site for the details:
  1. You can never be sure you are saved.
  2. Only people baptized in the Churches of Christ will be saved.
  3. Every time you sin you are lost until you ask forgiveness.
  4. Obedience is following the blueprint in the book of Acts.
  5. Worship is following the blueprint in the book of Acts.
  6. God is reluctant to forgive.
  7. Nadab and Abihu (Leviticus 10) are an example of how we will be punished for wrong worship.
  8. Uzzah (II Samuel 6) is an example of how we will be punished for wrong worship.
  9. Instruments of music are forbidden and unacceptable to God in church worship.
  10. The Lord's Supper must be taken every Sunday.
  11. I have to be worthy to take the Lord's Supper.
  12. Missing a church service is a sin.
• P.O.E.M. Parents of Ephraim Monastics
  "The term POEM is an acronym that stands for PARENTS OF EPHRAIM MONASTICS*. All of us have come together to form this support network as it is our common concern as to the attitudes, practices, treatment and teachings of Fr. Ephraim and the monasteries unders his direction. This concern also extends to the hierarchy of the Greek Orthodox Church. Many of our members have expressed less than serious or empathic concern shown towards them by the hierarchy."
• Calvary Chapel Abuse and Recovery
  "The Calvary Chapel Abuse Discussion Group is a private and moderated forum. Victims of abuse by pastors and layleaders are invited to join in the discussion, as well as those in positions of authority in Calvary Chapel. The purpose of this forum is not to "trash" Calvary Chapel, but is rather threefold:
  1. To provide a place for those who have been abused by their church leaders to openly tell their stories. To act as a forum to start those who have been abused towards the process of recovery.
  2. To increase awareness of ecclesial abuse within Calvary Chapel. To deny, hush up abuses and sweep them under the carpet only exacerbates the problems of abuse that do exist.
  3. To sanely and cooperatively try to discover what causes ecclesial abuse, and to seek solutions."
• Recovery from Mormonism
  "A site for those who are questioning their faith in the Mormon Church and for those who need support as they transition their lives to a normal life. We are not affiliated with any religion and we do not advocate any religion....The purpose of this site is to let people who are or were in Mormonism, know they are not alone in their feelings and experiences in their quests to regain their lives after years in this religion. We have e-mail groups to join, bulletin boards, gatherings and individuals to help with a transition to a post-Mormon life. We advocate no specific religious preference or religious activities after Mormonism. Our active participants are diverse and from differing cultural backgrounds throughout the world. This site contains a significant collection of stories of those who have left the Mormon Church. The site also contains documentation and links on topics concerning this religion."
• Wittenberg Gate Article - Controlling Personalities in the Church: Manipulation Techniques and Your Defenses.
  That and other related articles are very informative and well-written. The site itself is Reformed.
  Author's comments: "Probably every pastor can relate tales of folks in the congregation that display these traits and the disruptions they can cause. They may try to run the church from the pew.....Even more problematic, though, is when the controlling personality in the church is a member of the pastoral staff or the lay leadership.....I think it is important to note that a manipulative leader can create a cult-like dynamic in a church that is not cultish or heretical in its doctrine, but rather well within the range of what would be considered the historic Christian faith. There may be an unbalanced emphasis on certain doctrines, such as an attitude that emphasizes works at the expense of grace, or an emphasis on such things as submitting to authority and giving financially to the church in a sacrificial way."
• The Peregrine Foundation
  "a nonprofit organization that distributes information about high-demand religious groups, totalitarian sects, intentional communities and communes."
  The Kit Information Service: "The KIT Information Service, the Peregrine Foundation's pilot project, started in late 1989 as the KIT ("Keep In Touch") Newsletter to contact the approximately 1000 ex-members and 'graduates' of a group of religious intentional communities known variously as 'The Society of Brothers,' 'La Sociedad de Hermanos,' 'The Hutterian Brethren East,' 'The Arnoldleut,' but in general parlance as "The Bruderhof." Link: http://www.perefound.org/knsltrs.html"
• Comparing the One True Churches
  About the site authors: "Will and Vivian Stoppel were members of the Church of God in Christ, Mennonite"
  Article - "Leaving a "one true church" is traumatic, and the healing process is slow. No matter which "one true" church a person leaves, the expelled usually struggles with residual fear and legalism, shock, depression, and the shunning by family members. It is very helpful to learn that all "one true" churches operate virtually the same to gain and keep extreme control over the behavior, thoughts, and emotions of their members. Many of these groups listed were started by a single man who believed, often through dreams and visions, that he had been called to reform Christ's Church."
  Another good article there, not just for survivors of "One True Churches", but also for anyone who has been rejected, "shunned" is Breaking the Chains: http://www.theholdemans.com/breakchains.htm
• Moving On
  "The website created by and for young adults with parents who joined the religious organization The Family / Children of God." That group cannot be considered a church with a few abusive leaders or traits - it is a full-blown cult.
• Wellspring Retreat & Resource Center
  "Wellspring is the nation's only residential treatment facility specializing in the rehabilitation of individuals who havesuffered in abusive religious groups, relationships, and organizations....Our kind staff, and comfortable rooms help create a safe and relaxed atmosphere. Our treatment program for victims of cultic groups is accredited by the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities. Further, our counselors are trained mental health professionals.....The program of counseling is geared toward the restoration of clients to emotional and social wholeness. Although we accept clients from a wide variety of religious cults, Wellspring is, to our knowledge, the only center where a program is specifically offered upon request to those who have been damaged psychologically and spiritually by Bible-based cultic organizations." Also see their guide Choosing a Church After a Painful Experience The article has tips on what to look for and what to avoid when looking for a new church, especially for those that have suffered elsewhere.
• MeadowHaven
  "exists to provide a refuge for former members of high control, destructive groups to rest, heal, and grow. By understanding their experience in an abusive environment and acquiring the skills necessary for life outside the group, MeadowHaven helps former members recover their ability to be thriving contributors to society. Healing is fostered in the context of healthy community, relationships with other former members with similar experiences, and a supportive staff who understand the processes of thought reform and mind control..."
• Bill and Lorna Goldberg
  "As Clinical Social Workers specializing since 1976 in working with people involved in cults and destructive groups, we recognize the harm that these groups do to the individuals involved, as well as to their families. We believe that as a result of the cult's use of deception in the recruitment process, a former cult member usually is cautious about turning to strangers for help. We understand the natural tendency to be wary after such an experience. Therefore, we hope that this site will be useful for both those who have no intention of contacting us personally, as well as those who would like to speak to us. If you choose to contact us, we hope to give you enough information to help make you comfortable about that decision. This site is designed to provide help and information to former cult members, their families, and those who work with them."
• Battered Sheep Ministry
  About Battered Sheep Ministry:"Battered Sheep Ministry is a place of encouragement for sheep who have been wounded and victimized by authoritarian and legalistic churches. This ministry was born out of personal experiences that we have been through in a couple of authoritarian/legalistic churches. As a result of our experiences, the Lord has given us a burden for people, especially those who are going through painful trials. In the last few years, the Lord has been pleased to use us in some small measure to comfort some brothers and sisters in Christ who are going through the agonies and trauma of abusive churches. This website is the result of many years of personal trials and tribulations, and we pray that this site might be a blessing and a means of healing for those who are lonely, suffering, frustrated, and desiring to fellowship with others who have endured a similar fate."
• Recovering from Spiritual Abuse
  "If you have been spiritually abused just coming to this site was hard and frightening. We know; we have been there. In 1997, when we left the cultic, abusive church where we had been since 1979, we were devastated and full of despair of ever knowing what it would be like to be a "normal" Christian again. What was normal? It certainly was not us, and the future looked black and impossible. We cried a lot, felt numb a lot, I was deeply depressed for many months. All because we had come into a church that promised what we really wanted - a close and deep walk with our Savior. Instead our souls and emotions were ruined, our lives broken, almost two decades of useful life were gone,.........We know your sorrow; we know your desolation and pain. We have been down to the valley of the shadow of soul and emotional death, and have come back again. We know the twists and turns, and we want to help."
• Lee Marsh Abuse Recovery Page
  "You will find information about the various of types of abuse -- physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, as well as information about recovery and how to find a good therapist. Come in and browse. There's plenty to see. If you find some of the material overwhelming, please take care of yourself and relax, write, call a friend or just allow yourself to feel. The poems, in particular, are quite graphic, and may bring back powerful memories of abuse. If you are new in your recovery process and are having difficulties with flashbacks, you might want to wait until you are feeling stronger before reading the poems."
• Fly With Grace.com
  "FlyWithGrace.com is here to offer resources and hope to women trying to recover from all the devastating effects of clergy sexual abuse and misconduct....But people who study abuse by the clergy say that Protestant churches have just as big a problem. The details may be different, but often the ways the churches handle the cases have striking parallels....There are many ways to classify abusers. Observers of clergy abuse list as many as seven profiles. Marie Fortune has made a major distinction between predators and wanderers."
• New England Institute of Religious Research
  "The New England Institute of Religious Research was founded in 1991 as a mission outreach to provide churches, secular organizations and concerned individuals with up-to-date research on cultic structures. The Institute also provides training for people who work with those caught up by such destructive groups. We personally meet with the members of various groups to discuss Behavioral/Biblical/Theological issues with them. Another important dimension of Institute ministry is to provide an emotionally and spiritually healing environment for ex-members. We offer information, resources, support groups and counseling to those who have a loved one involved in any type of spiritually abusive group."
• Eastern Regional Watch - Spiritual Abuse
• Steven Allen Hassan's Freedom of Mind Center
  "Steven Alan Hassan, cult counselor and mind control expert is a Nationally Certified Counselor and licensed Mental Health Counselor and has developed a breakthrough approach to help loved ones rescue cult mind control victims. He is a former member of the Moon cult. Ex-cult members and others seek him out for specialized counseling to help them recover from symptoms other mental health professionals are not trained to address."
  His site also contains some good information about the recently popularized Kabbalah cults: Kabbalah Learning Center Cult.
• The Rick A. Ross Institute
  "Here you will find specific information about the process used by destructive totalists to control their followers. Excerpts from books authored by leading experts offer penetrating insights into the world of thought reform, coercive persuasion and brainwashing. You will see the criteria used to determine when a thought reform program of control is in use. Examples range from one-on-one cultic relationships to large groups."
  There is also a special section on Margaret Singer Thaler, PhD: The preeminent cult expert of the 20th Century.
• reFOCUS: Recovering Former Custists' Support Network
  "reFOCUS is a network of referral and support for former embers of closed, high demand groups, relationships or cults. reFOCUS is not an organization, per se (it has no membership). It is, rather, a network, a nexus of connections between people in recovery, the lines of communication which link people up with available resources necessary to their recovery. Those resources include other former members, support groups and rehab facilities, mental health professionals, clergy, and other supportive organizations. This network also serves as a means to encourage the creation and exchange of related information which educates, encourages, or informs, such as books, articles, journals, newsletters, video and audio materials, surveys and research data, etc."
• Cultic Studies: Information about Cults and Psychological Manipulation (Formerly AFF)
  "Information on cults, cultic groups, psychological manipulation, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse, brainwashing, mind control, thought reform, abusive churches, extremism, totalistic groups, new religious movements, alternative and mainstream religions, group dynamics, exit counseling, recovery, and practical suggestions for those affected by or interested in these subjects....We at ICSA are confident that through our unique combination of periodicals, an online bookstore, an information service, workshops and conferences, and Web resources we can assist those who have been adversely affected by a cultic experience or who seek to help others or who are simply interested in the subject.
  The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) is an interdisciplinary network of academicians, professionals, former group members, and families who study and educate the public about social-psychological influence and control, authoritarianism, and zealotry in cultic groups, alternative movements, and other environments. Founded in 1979 as AFF (American Family Foundation), ICSA took on its current name in late 2004 to better reflect the organization's focus and increasingly international and scholarly dimensions. ICSA, the leading professional organization concerned about cultic groups and psychological manipulation, is known for its professionalism and capacity to respond effectively to families, former and current group members, helping professionals, and scholars."
  See their Cult Information Bookstore.
• CULTWATCH
  "Cultwatch is a para-church organisation made up of people from different Christian denominations. (Para-church means not founded, owned, or controlled by any one church group.) Cultwatch's two main aims are to help the people trapped in the cults and to warn people about the cult danger before they are ensnared. Cultwatch is a Christian based organisation dedicated to helping people from all walks of life."
  Their section on Apostles is very revealing. It exposes the teaching of Apostolic/Prophetic churches and the five-fold ministry being propagated in so many churches these days.
  There is a new novel by Cultwatch Director Mark Vrankovich called Kingdom Lost. "Kingdom Lost the new Christian novel by Cultwatch Director Mark Vrankovich is causing huge controversy in Super Apostle churches. If you're hearing phrases like "Obey, Apostolic Mandate, Five Fold Ministry, Honor the Pastor, Set Man, Theocracy, Under Authority, Covering, Robbing God, Submit" at your church, then you have to read Kingdom Lost now."
  Try their Super Apostle Detector to see if your church leader is part of this damaging trend.
• Ex-Cult
  This link goes direct to their resource center. They have some of the usual cults on the list, but also have information about Amway (yes, Amway), and Multi-Level Marketing.
• FACTNet.org
  "Since 1993, we have been to destructive cults, fundamentalism, mind control, and mental coercion/torture what Amnesty International has been to physical torture."
• NIMH - Depression "A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression."
• All About Depression
  "Clinical depression affects all aspects of a person's life. It impairs our ability to sleep, eat, work, and get along with others. It damages our self-esteem, self-confidence, and our ability to accomplish everyday tasks. People who are depressed find daily tasks to be a significant struggle. They tire easily, yet cannot get a good night's sleep. They have no motivation and lose interest in activities that were once enjoyable. Depression puts a dark, gloomy cloud over how we see ourselves, the world, and our future. This cloud cannot be willed away, nor can we ignore it and have it magically disappear."
• The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron Ph.D.
  "This trait is normal--it is inherited by 15 to 20% of the population, and indeed the same percentage seems to be present in all higher animals.....Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties.....Being an HSP also means, necessarily, that you are more easily overstimulated, stressed out, overwhelmed.....Even those who loved you probably told you, "don't be so sensitive," making you feel abnormal when in fact you could do nothing about it and it is not abnormal at all."
Take their Test to see if you may be highly sensitive.
See the HSP Newsletter - Comfort Zone - with online articles.
• National Center for PTSD
  "The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was created within the Department of Veterans Affairs in 1989, in response to a Congressional mandate to address the needs of veterans with military-related PTSD. Its mission was, and remains: To advance the clinical care and social welfare of America's veterans through research, education, and training in the science, diagnosis, and treatment of PTSD and stress-related disorders. This website is provided as an educational resource concerning PTSD and other enduring consequences of traumatic stress, for a variety of audiences."
• Gift From Within
  "We started Gift From Within in 1993 with the intention of giving trauma survivors, their loved ones and supporters a credible online website that was friendly and supportive. PTSD is real and we wanted to explain the condition without being too technical or too superficial. Gift From Within believes that persons with PTSD and related traumatic stress syndromes deserve the same respect and support that individuals and families suffering the impact of cancer, heart disease and stroke receive. At least 10,000,000 Americans have experienced some form of PTSD. Gift From Within was founded to help provide this support."
  What is PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
  "PTSD is three reactions at once, all caused by an event that terrifies, horrifies or renders one helpless. The triad of disabling responses is:
  * recurring intrusive recollections;
  * emotional numbing and constriction of life activity; and
  * a physiological shift in the fear threshold, affecting sleep, concentration, and sense of security."
  See more at: Gift From Within - PTSD 101 for Journalists by Frank Ochberg, M.D.

Possible Abuser Personality Traits

This is not a complete list, there may be other traits, these are only some possibilities. Some of the abused may fall into these categories, too. They are called Cluster B traits typified by "dramatic, emotional behavior, including histrionic, narcissistic, antisocial (previously known as sociopathic) and borderline personality disorders."

People with Cluster B traits can look for especially Cluster C people to dominate. Conversely, Cluster C persons may let themselves be dominated by those with Cluster B traits. This does not make the behavior of B or C persons acceptable, but can explain some cases of dominant/dependent abuse. Read about the differences in Clusters A, B, and C here: Mayo Clinic

For more information about this and other ways to measure disorders go to: ABC of mental health: Disorders of personality

• Borderline Personality Disorder
  • BPD Central
    "BPD can lead to suffering for both the BP and those whose lives they affect (non-BPs, or simply "nons.") BPD is linked to high conflict; divorce; suicide; substance abuse; child abuse; physical, sexual, and emotional abuse; eating disorders; estrangement from family members; and much more."
  • Healthier You, The Journal: Borderline Personality Disorder: What Is It, What Causes It? How Can We Treat It? by Joel Paris, M.D.
    "Interpersonal relationships in BPD are particularly unstable. Typically, borderline patients have serious problems with boundaries. They become quickly involved with people, and quickly disappointed with them. They make great demands on other people, and easily become frightened of being abandoned by them. Their emotional life is a kind of rollercoaster.....We are only beginning to understand the causes of BPD. As in most mental disorders, no single factor explains its development. Rather, multiple risk factors, which can be biological, psychological, or social, play a role in its etiology."
  • Borderline Personality Disorders by Richard J. Corelli, M.D.
    "A person with a borderline personality disorder often experiences a repetitive pattern of disorganization and instability in self-image, mood, behavior and close personal relationships. This can cause significant distress or impairment in friendships and work. A person with this disorder can often be bright and intelligent, and appear warm, friendly and competent. They sometimes can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense structure crumbles, usually around a stressful situation like the breakup of a romantic relationship or the death of a parent."
  • Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsiveness part of criminal profiling, Dr. Tom O'Connor, North Carolina Wesleyan College
    "As opposed to disorders along the antisocial spectrum which can be said to represent a disease of detachment, borderlines and the obsessive-compulsives can be said to be afflicted with a disease of attachment. Such people are often pathologically attached -- to persons, places, and things -- so much that they sometimes block out any other person's right to an opinion or thoughts of their own."
  • BPD Links
• Histrionic Personality Disorder
  • Dual Diagnosis and the Histrionic Personality Disorder
    "Akhtar (1992, p. 259) notes that the current description of HPD corresponds to the previous idea of an infantile personality. These individuals had few sexual inhibitions, were impulsive, experienced identity diffusion and emotional lability, and demonstrated what the author referred to as moral defects. Yet, as described in the DSM-IV, individuals with HPD demonstrate what our society tends to foster and admire -- to be well liked, successful, popular, extroverted, attractive, and sociable (Millon & Davis, 1996, p. 366). In fact, Widiger, et.al. (Costa & Widiger, eds., 1994, p. 47) describe HPD as an extreme variant of extroversion. Extroversion involves the tendency to be outgoing, talkative, convivial, warm and affectionate, energetic, and vigorous. In a non-pathological form, extroversion is being high-spirited, buoyant, and optimistic. These factors coalesce into a personality disorder only when the needs behind the behavior are pathologically inflexible, repetitious, and persistent (Millon & Davis, 1996, p. 366). It is then that the corruptibility, manipulativeness, and disinhibited exploitation of others become factors and the personality disordered version of extroversion becomes apparent."
  • 4degreez.com
    "People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative."
• Anti-Social Personality Disorder (Sociopath)
  • Profile of the Sociopath by McAfee/Johnson Professor of of Business, Economics & Management, California Institute of Technology
    "This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths." It contains some interesting facts and easy-to-understand lists of character traits and a quote fromThe Psychopath Next Door.
  • From the Mayo Clinic
    This disorder, (and most listed on this page) are usually "Cluster B" personality disorders, according to the mayo clinic, typified by:
    Symptoms: "Chronic irresponsibility and unreliability, lack of regard for the law and for other's rights, persistent lying and stealing, aggresive often violent behavior, lack of remorse for hurting others, lack of concern for the safety of self and others."
  • Profile of a Sociopath from Exit and Support Network : an easy-to-understand list of sociopathic traits.
    "A number of mind-controlling cult leaders may exhibit many of the behavioral characteristics of a sociopath--an outstanding ability to charm and seduce followers. Since they appear apparently normal, they are not easily recognizable as deviant or disturbed. Although only a trained professional can make a diagnosis of whether or not someone is a sociopath, it is important to be able to recognize the personality type in order to avoid further abuse. These traits also apply to a one-on-one cultic relationship."
    
    If such people get into leading positions as in that of a church, they can pose a danger to the congregation. Protect yourself by knowing the symptoms. Also see Exit and Support Network's other articles about mind control and exploitive groups.
  • Antisocial Personality, Sociopathy and Psychopathy part of criminal profiling, Dr. Tom O'Connor, North Carolina Wesleyan College
    The article offers a studious view of the disorder, stressing that most that have it are not necessarily known criminals
• Narcissism
  • Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin
    Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist, and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths.
    What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
  • Personality Disorders in the Paranoid-Narcissistic Spectrum part of criminal profiling, Dr. Tom O'Connor, North Carolina Wesleyan College
    An educative view of types of Paranoia and Narcissism, contains a table comparing behavioral components of some disorders.
• Bipolar Disorder (manic depression) This is a Cluster B and Cluster A disorder (more about that below).
  • Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
    "Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) is a treatable illness marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy and behavior. It is known as bipolar disorder because a person's mood can alternate between the "poles" of mania (high, elevated mood) and depression (low, depressed mood)....Bipolar disorder affects more than two million adult Americans. Like depression and other serious illnesses, bipolar disorder can also adversely affect spouses, family members, friends, and people in the workplace."
• Also see Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder below under Possible Abused Personality Traits.
• Also see Paranoid Personality Disorder below under Possible Abused Personality Traits.
• The Serial Bully
  "How to spot signs and symptoms of serial bullies, sociopaths and psychopaths including the sociopathic behaviour of the industrial psychopath and the corporate psychopath. Types of serial bully: The Attention-Seeker, The Wannabe, the Guru, the Sociopath."
  Has some very interesting information about bullying in the workplace that applies to church situations as well. They have information about various disorders and telling lists of symptoms and traits. I think that "The Guru" fits a pattern of some abusive church leaders, but their traits are not limited to that type.

Possible Abused Personality Traits

This is not a complete list, there may be other traits, these are only some possibilities. Some of the abusers may fall under these categories. This is by no means a suggestion that the abused have a disorder, most of them (us) do not. But there are personality traits and disorders that can predisposition someone for abuse, knowing that can help the affected toward recovery. I will use the labels of Cluster C and Cluster A seen at Mayo Clinic.com Personality Disorders.

Cluster C (anxious, fearful) pertains to: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is something different, it "is more extreme and disabling".)

• Dependent Personality Disorder
  • NLM, NIH
    "Dependent personality disorder is a chronic condition involving over-reliance on others to meet emotional and physical needs......People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions. They may be devastated by separation and loss and may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship."
  • Psychnet-UK.com
    "The cause of this disorder is not known. The disorder usually appears in early adulthood. This disorder is common but not well studied; however, more women than men have been found to have dependent personality disorder.....The most effective psychotherapeutic approach is one which is focuses on solutions to specific life problems the patient is presently experiencing. Long-term therapy, while ideal for many personality disorders, is contra-indicated in this instance since it reinforces a dependent relationship upon the therapist. While some form of dependency will exist no matter the length of therapy, the shorter the better in this case."
• Avoidant Personality Disorder
  • Open-Mind.org
    "avoidants purposefully avoid people due to fears of humiliation & rejection. It ís thought to be a pathological syndromal extension of the “normal inhibited” personality, which ís characterized by a watchful behavioral appearance, shy interpersonal conduct, a preoccupied cognitive style, uneasy affective expression & a lonely self-perception ( Millon & Everly )."
• Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
  • Dual Diagnosis and the Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
    "The essential feature of the obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. Individuals with OCPD are conscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about morality, ethics, or values. They may force both themselves and others to follow rigid moral principles and very high standards of performance. They are inclined to be severely self-critical. These individuals are deferential to authority and rules. They insist on literal compliance, regardless of circumstances (DSM-IV, 1994, pp. 669-670). "

Cluster A Disorders (odd, ecentric) pertain to: Paranoid Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

• Paranoid Personality Disorder
  • PT Types
    "a pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts"
    Two personality traits:
    "High Openness-
    Preoccupation with fantasy and daydreaming; lack of practicality; eccentric thinking (e.g., belief in ghosts, reincarnation, UFOs); diffuse identity and changing goals: for example, joining religious cult; susceptibility to nightmares and states of altered consciousness; social rebelliousness and nonconformity that can interfere with social or vocational advancement.
    High Agreeableness
    Gullibility: indiscriminate trust of others; excessive candor and generosity, to detriment of self-interest; inability to stand up to others and fight back; easily taken advantage of."
• Schizoid Personality Disorder
  • Dual Diagnosis and the Schizoid Personality Disorder "According to the DSM-IV™ (1994, p. 638), the essential feature of the schizoid personality disorder "e;is a pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings."e; These individuals appear to lack a desire for intimacy. They spend time alone and select activities that do not include interaction with others......Individuals with SPD may have particular difficulty expressing anger, even when directly provoked. They often react passively to adverse circumstances and may not respond appropriately to important life events. These individuals may experience brief (minutes to hours) psychotic episodes in response to stress. SPD can be, but is not necessarily, an antecedent disorder to schizophrenia, major depression, or a delusional disorder. The most frequent co-occurring personality disorders with STP are schizotypal, paranoid, and avoidant personality disorders. SPD is diagnosed more frequently in males who seem to be more impaired than females with SPD (DSM-IV™, 1994, p. 639)."
• Schizotypal Personality Disorder
  • National Mental Health Association
    "A pattern of peculiarities best describes those with schizotypal personality disorder. People may have odd or eccentric manners of speaking or dressing. Strange, outlandish or paranoid beliefs and thoughts are common. People with schizotypal personality disorder have difficulties forming relationships and experience extreme anxiety in social situations. They may react inappropriately or not react at all during a conversation or they may talk to themselves. They also display signs of “magical thinking” by saying they can see into the future or read other people’s minds."
  • PT Types, Schizotypal...
    I suspect that this disorder may affect some cult leaders, that then gather followers with the same disorder around them. Another area that may draw such persons may be the Christian Apostolic/Prophetic Movement and Charismatic and Pentecostal Movements which adherents often claim to have visions, prophecies, and various spiritual experiences. Most there are more social and will not have this disorder, but the nature of these movements could predispose them to draw adherents with this disorder, thus possibly even initiating and more likely propagating false doctrine within these movements no matter their origin.
    Two traits are:
    "High Openness-
    Preoccupation with fantasy and daydreaming; lack of practicality; eccentric thinking (e.g., belief in ghosts, reincarnation, UFOs); diffuse identity and changing goals: for example, joining religious cult; susceptibility to nightmares and states of altered consciousness; social rebelliousness and nonconformity that can interfere with social or vocational advancement.
    Low Agreeableness-
    Cynicism and paranoid thinking; inability to trust even friends or family; quarrelsomeness; too ready to pick fights; exploitive and manipulative; lying; rude and inconsiderate manner alienates friends, limits social support; lack of respect for social conventions can lead to troubles with the law; inflated and grandiose sense of self; arrogance."

Other subject matter that might be useful:

• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Stephen R. Covey
  Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (June 18, 2002)
  ISBN: 0071401946
  Anonymous recommendation: "This book was extremely helpful in recognizing conversation patterns and identifying my own patterns vs. others. Once I started recognizing things like fear, control, and bullying in other's conversations...my conversation pattern changed dramatically. It was extremely helpful towards the end of my church situation...I only regret I didn't read it before it all happened. It helps me to this day in talking about my situation w/ those who call me.
  It was truly amazing in using the skills this book presents when talking to others about what we went through...especially in helping me identify when someone else in the conversation goes into (what the book identified as) "silence" or "violence".
  The biggest thing it did for me is help me NOT to defend myself in [the] situation, keep the focus on the facts of what went on and NOT allow myself to get drawn into defending how I'm responsible for .... "outcast behavior".
  I seriously, seriously recommend anyone and everyone to read this book! I won't be surprised when you do you'll think of past church s/a conversations and identify a new pattern in the speech that was used. You'll look at people in a different way and see yourself as not being the victim like you used to be...b/c it provides you tools, insights, and a foundation to call the behavior for what it is and not what the person is attempting to distract you with."
  Order at Amazon
• God, Language and Scripture, Moises Silva
  Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company (February 11, 1991)
  ISBN: 0310409519
  From the back cover:
  "The primary aim of God, Language and Scripture is to provide guidance in the use of biblical languages. Secondarily this volume initiates the reader to the wonders and workings of language and points out how language is often misused, especially in regard to the Bible. This volume, however, in no way anticipates all the ways of mishandling language. Silva's emphasis is on "global" rather than detailed concerns (though selected specific examples are used) of how language is misused. The book includes an account of the birth and growth of modern linguistics, an appreciation of its interdisciplinary character, particularly its ties with literary criticism, sociology, anthropology, psychology, and science. It surveys all levels of language description, but emphasizes the semantic and stylistic aspects of grammar and syntax, vocabulary, and discourse. In addition, it considers the transmission of the Bible (textual criticism and translation) as a mode of linguistic communication and interpretive process."
  Order at Amazon.com
• Has the Church Misread the Bible? The History of Interpretation in the Light of Current Issues, Moises Silva
  Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company (October 18, 1987)
  ISBN: 0310409217
  From the back cover:
  "In this, the first volume of Foundations of Contemporary Interpretation, Moises Silva presents a unique and practical perspective on the history of interpretation. "I do not intend to provide in this volume a full-blown history of biblical hermeneutics . . . (Rather,) my thesis is that this history is characterized by the church's appreciation, sometimes implicit rather than consciously formulated, that we face a series of difficult 'tensions' in our reading of Scripture . . . . The attempt to hold these seeming polarities in tension is the principle that brings unity to the great diversity of problems surrounding the history of biblical interpretation." Some examples of these areas of tension are, "To what extent should we understand the biblical language as being literal and to what extent as figurative?" "The Bible is God's Word, yet what it has come to is through human beings and in human form." "The commands of God are absolute, yet the historical context of the writings appear to relativize certain elements." "God's message should be clear, yet many passages seem to be ambiguous." By showing how the church in the past has dealt with these same issues, Silva provide the reader with a clearer insight into the contemporary problems of interpretation."
  Order at Amazon.com
• Spiritual Counterfeits Project
  "Since 1973, the SCP has been a frontline ministry confronting the occult, the cults, and the New Age movement and explaining why they are making an impact on our society. In the name of truth, sophisticated lies are fed to unwary people who live in and shape our world. SCP's mandate is to communicate with our generation by creating crossover material that alerts and informs about the very real dangers of the latest deceptions. It is a critical mission at a critical time."
• Christian Research Institute
  "Our Mission: To provide Christians worldwide with carefully researched information and well-reasoned answers that encourage them in their faith and equip them to intelligently represent it to people influenced by ideas and teachings that assault or undermine orthodox, biblical Christianity."

A Few Things You May Want to Avoid

• Cult Awareness Network operated by the Foundation for Religious Freedom is not what it seems to be. They were taken over by Scientology after a law suit. Much information about that can be found at Rick Ross' site: The New Cult Awareness Network.

This list consists of some books that were recommended to me. I will not have read them unless stated, but through research of the subjects the books treat of or experience with them, I can at least advise a higher level of caution than with material previously listed.

• The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning
  See a Review entitled What is Contemplative Spirituality and Why is It Dangerous?by John Caddock of the Journal of the Grace Evangelical Society, Autumn 1997 Volume 10:19
  An excerpt of the review:
  "There is a seductive quality to his writings. He reports grappling with and overcoming fear, guilt, and psychological hang-ups and difficulties, including alcoholism. He gives the impression that he has a very intimate relationship with God and that he has insight to a superspirituality. He regularly meditates and reports having many visions and encounters with God. He is an extremely gifted writer who is able to tug at the emotions of the reader while at the same time introducing ideas that the reader would immediately reject if they were not cloaked under this emotional blanket.
  He promises readers that if they apply his teaching they too will gain this same intimacy with God as well as freedom from fear, guilt, and psychological hang-ups and difficulties. This is very attractive. Manning's prescription to achieve this is not by traditional prayer and by the reading and application of the Bible. Rather, the means to this end is a mixture of Eastern mysticism, psychology, the New Age Movement, liberation theology, Catholicism, and Protestantism.3 This mixture will not deliver intimacy with God. It no doubt will lead to special feelings and experiences. Those practicing Manning's methods will likely feel closer to God. However, in the process they will actually move away from Him as a result of a counterfeit spirituality."
  Other works by Manning: The Ragamuffin Gospel
• What Is So Amazing About Grace? by Phil Yancey
  Publisher: Zondervan (October 10, 1997)
  Some critique about Yancey's held doctrines and activities has been published at Biblical Discernment Ministries. If the report is true, then I could not agree with the author on neo-evangelical issues. His doctrines, possibly contained in the book, would be part of the deception that I have left and am trying to avoid. A quote from BDM: "In an attempt to shelter God and His reputation from any responsibility, directly or indirectly, for suffering or pain, Yancey has made Him into something less than God."
  An excerpt of the book follows from bookschristian.com The book encourages those that have not been the recipients of grace or mercy in their churches and shows how it should be present in Christian life. Those that do not show God's grace to others have gravely misunderstood the message of Jesus Christ. "Grace does not excuse sin, says Yancey, but it treasures the sinner. True grace is shocking, scandalous. It shakes our conventions with its insistence on getting close to sinners and touching them with mercy and hope. It forgives the unfaithful spouse, the racist, the child abuser. It loves today’s AIDS-ridden addict as much as the tax collector of Jesus’ day.In his most personal and provocative book ever, Yancey offers compelling, true portraits of grace’s life-changing power." Some have been helped by the book that recommended it to me, despite what false doctrine it may contain, if you still want this book it is available at Amazon.com

References when not already listed above:

• 1. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
  Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen. p. 20, 21.

If you would like to comment on this article or see further related articles go to the blog section.

All websites, even though publicly available are not public domain. This according to The Digital Millenium Copyright Act of 1998. Go to http://www.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/dmca.pdf for a summary or to http://www.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/hr2281.pdf for a full version.

You may print, copy or reference this document for your own use but the name of the author, Carmen Brill, must be included and the copies or references must include a reference to this website, http://jamesfive19.com. You may not distribute this document in your name and you may not distribute it for profit.

Deutsch

Allgemeine Informationen

Es gibt immer mehr Fälle von Spiritueller Mißbrauch. Was is das eigentlich?

"Spiritueller Mißbrauch ist die Mißhandlung einer Person die Hilfe braucht, Unterstützung oder größere spirituelle Erleuchtung, mit dem Ergebniß, daß seine spirituelle Erleuchtung geschwächt, vermindert oder gar unterminiert ist." The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse von Johnson & Van Vonderen. 1.

"Spiritueller Mißbrauch passiert, wenn eine Person, die eine Stellung der spirituelle Autorität innehat und diese Stellung benutzt eine andere Person zu kontrollieren. Dies passiert wenn die Bedürfnisse des Persons mit Autorität vor der Bedürfnisse des Persons gestellt werden, der gerade Hilfe sucht. Spiritueller Mißbrauch kann auch beinhalten, dass Menschen dazu gezwungen werden die starre Regeln und trägt noch dazu bei ein legalistisches System zu unterstützen. Egal wieviel das Individuum tut oder ob er sein Bestes tut, es is nie gut genug und somit fühlt er sich spirituell unwürdig...." von Lee Marsh Abuse Recovery Page. 2.

Dazu zählt auch sexuelle Nötigung in kirchliche Umgebung und/oder in Verbindung mit Personen, die kirchliche Führer sind.

Es kann sein, daß Fälle von spiritueller Mißbrauch sich häufen, daß die Liebe in vielen erkältet. Christen, die verzweifelt spirituelle Nahrung und emotionale Sicherheit brauchen, finden Gruppen die versprechen sie zu füttern, schließlich versuchen diese Gruppen oder Individuen sich von ihnen zu ernähren. Wenn du dich nach dem Kirchengang ausgelaugt und belastet fühlst, wenn du ausgegrenzt wirst weil andere sich selbstgerechter darstellen als sie sagen das du es bist, wenn du aus irgenwelchen Gründen gezwungen wurdest, deine Kirche zu verlassen oder dort zu bleiben, dann ist es möglich, daß du spirituell mißbraucht wurdest. Wenn du Zweifel daran hast, wie deine Kirche funktioniert, lies weiter.

Nicht alle Bücher die hier aufgelistet sind, sind von mir persönlich gelesen worden. Ich bin auch nicht von alle Sites geholfen worden, aber ich führe die Bücher und Sites vor, die mir von Anderen empfohlen worden sind. Trotzdem bin ich nicht für ihren Inhalt verantwortlich oder sonstige Links die sie vielleicht beinhalten mögen. Es kann sein, daß ich nicht mit allen Äußerungen einverstanden bin. Wenn du die aufgelisteten Bücher lesen und die Sites besuchen, tust du dies auf die eigene Verantwortung.

Amtsmißbrauch eines Pfarrers Die Detaillierte Studie eines Falles ist mein persönlicher Bericht über spiritueller Mißbrauch, der mir widerfahren ist (noch nicht ins deutsche übersetzt). Solche Ereignisse schriftlich zu verfassen wird oft als Therapie empfohlen für spirituell Mißbrauchte, um die Heilung zu unterstützen. In machen Fällen, kann solch ein Bericht in der Öffentlichkeit andere daran hindern, denselben Trauma zu erleiden. Wenn du dein Bericht über spiritueller Mißbrauch (und eventuell auch Lösungen und Heilung) auf meiner Site publizieren willst, ob anonym oder nicht, bitte setzt dich mit mir in Verbindung.

Wie weiß ich, ob meine Kirche Menschen mißbraucht und manipuliert?

Hier ist eine List von 12 Merkmale, die du mit deiner Situation vergleichen kannst, Ursprung unbekannt.

1. Kontrolliert deine Kirche den Fluss von Information in ihre Hierarchie?

2. Schämt dein Pfarrer oder spiritueller Führer Mitglieder in der Öffenlichkeit der Gemeinde als eine Methode ihr Gehorsam zu bekommen?

3. Ist dein Pfarrer oder spiritueller Führer intolerant gegenüber Fragen oder kritische Erkundigungen?

4. Ist dein spiritueller Führer der einzige Quelle für "die Wahrheit" oder etwaige Bestätigung?

5. Hat dein spiritueller Führer unvernünftige Ängste bezüglich der äußeren Welt wie Angst vor böse Verschwörungen oder Verfolgungswahn?

6. Wirst du davon abgeraten oder abgehalten mit vorige Mitglieder zu assoziieren, wird dir gesagt, daß sie "böse" oder "verunreinigt" sind?

7. Wenn eine Person die Gruppe für eine andere Kirche verlässt, wird diese Aktion gleichgestellt, Gott zu verlassen?

8. Sieht die umgebende Gemeinde oder Dorf deine Kirche als Sekte an?

9. Wenn dein spiritueller Führer kritiziert oder gefragt wird, sieht er dies als böse Verfolgung?

10. Scheinen die Ziele deiner spirituellen Führer deine persönliche Ziele und individuelle Interessen zu negieren?

11. Hast du Angst verwiesen, abgelehnt oder ignoriert zu werden, wenn du eine andere Meinung äußerst?

12. Berichten vorige Mitglieder oft von denselben Geschichten der Mißbrauch und haben sie untereinander ein ähnliches Muster von Beschwerden?

"Wenn du "nein" zu allen 12 Fragen beantwortet haben, dann ist deine Kirche aller Wahrscheinlichkeit nach sehr gesund. Wenn du "ja" zu drei oder mehr Fragen antworten musstest, dann zeigt deine Kirche einige ungesunde Merkmale auf. Wenn du "ja" zu sechs oder mehr Fragen antworten musstest, dann ist deine Kirche sehr ungesund. Wenn du "ja" zu acht oder mehr Fragen beanworten musstest, dann ist deine Kirche eine waschechte, autoritäre, Sekte." Sie sollen daher, versuchen eine andere zu finden, und eventuell psychische und emotionelle Unterstützung zu bekommen.

Wenn du Englisch hinreichend verstehst, muntere ich dich dazu auf, die obengenannte Sites über die Merkmale kranke und gesunde Kirchen aufzusuchen, und andere aufgelistete Sites zu besuchen. Ich suche noch Informationen in deutscher Sprache, aber diese sind entweder im Netz nicht vorhanden oder sonst schwer zu finden. Falls du bereits über solche Informationen verfügst, wäre ich sehr dankbar wenn du diese mir mitteilen würdest.
Siehe English, diese Seite oben.

Bücher in deutscher Sprache

• Der siebente Tag von Anthony A. Hoekema
  ISBN: 3-89397-242-0
  "Dieses hilfreiche Buch zu einer aktuellen Problematik bietet eine gründliche sachliche Darstellung der Lehren der Siebenten-Tags-Adventisten und stellt ihr eine biblische Beurteilung gegenüber. Es gibt Auskunft über Geschichte und Hintergründe der Entstehung der Gemeinschaft, stellt ihre Theologie und ihr Selbstverständnis dar und beleuchtet ihre Sonderlehren im Licht der Bibel – allen voran die Frage nach dem Halten des Sabbats. Der letzte Teil beschäftigt sich damit, welche Merkmale eine Gemeinschaft als Sekte ausweisen. Dieser Vergleich lässt bei objektiver Bewertung nur eine Schlussfolgerung zu – die Adventisten müssen als Sekte gesehen werden."
  Sie können das Buch bei CLV.de bestellen.
• Warum ich kein Charismatiker mehr bin von Fritz Wolf
  ISBN: 3-89397-794-5
  "Auf der Suche nach einem Christsein, das aus mehr besteht, als sonntags regelmäßig in einem Gottesdienst zu sitzen, lernt der Autor die charismatische Bewegung kennen und kann sich ihrer Faszination nicht entziehen. Er erlebt jedoch auch ihren ernüchternden Alltag – ein Spannungsfeld zwischen Anspruch und Wirklichkeit, das ihn in große seelische Not führt. Außer der Charismatischen Bewegung wird darüber hinaus auch die kalte und gefühllose Haltung: »Lehre gut – alles gut«, die manche Christen zu den Charismatikern treibt, kritisch beleuchtet."
  Sie können das Buch bei CLV.de kaufen oder umsonst downloaden: PDF.
• Willow Creek von Gregory A Pritchard
  "Willow Creek - die »Kirche für Distanzierte« - wird als vielleicht einflussreichste Gemeinde der Welt bezeichnet und findet auch in Deutschland immer mehr Anklang. Die hier vorliegende sachlich-nüchterne Analyse dieser neuen Welle basiert auf einer einjährigen Vor-Ort-Beobachtung, unzähligen Interviews und ausführlichen Recherchen vonseiten des Autors. Die ersten zwei Drittel beschränken sich auf eine beschreibende Darstellung von Willow Creek und seiner Methode; das letzte Drittel bietet eine tief gehende biblische Beurteilung. Neben vielem Guten und Vorbildlichen zeigt der Autor auch eine Fülle von bedenklichen, teils sogar erschreckenden Kritikpunkten auf."
  Sie können das Buch bei CLV.de kaufen.
• Gewissenlos: Die psychopathen unter uns von Robert D. Hare PhD
  Verlag: Springer Wien NewYork.
  Allerdings war es mir unmöglich das Buch bei Springerverlag ausfindig zu machen.
  Auf Englisch heißt das Buch: Without Conscience
  Für Details siehe oben bei "Books". Das Buch ist auch in andere Sprachen erhältlich:
  Siehe Dr. Hares Site
  Das Buch ist sofort erhältlich in englischer Sprache bei Amazon.

Adressen:

• Dies ist die Zentralstelle für Sekteninformationen und Beratung bei der Evangelischen Kirche Deutschland: Pfarrer für Sekten- und Weltanschauungsfragen der Ev. Kirche Berlin-Brandenburg-schlesische Oberlausitz. Früher gab es viele Informationen bei http://www.ekibb.com/ aber es scheint als ob die Informationen zumindest vorübergehend nicht zur Verfügung stehen. Es bleibt eine Postadresse und Email:
  Büro:
  Pf. Thomas Gandow
  Heimat 27, 14165 Berlin,
  Telefon: 030/8 15 70 40,
  Fax: 030/84 50 96 40
  pfarrer.gandow@berlin.de
  gandow@dialogzentrum.de
• Eine Freundin wurde durch ihre Englische Artikel geholfen (Sicherlich hat sie auch auf Deutsch geschrieben): Inge Tempelmann, Christliche Therapeutin IACP und Beraterin für Psychotrauma war für mehrere Jahre mit Pfarrerarbeit tätig. Heute arbeitet sie als Christliche Beraterin in Lüdenscheid, Deutschland. Ihre jetzige Prioritäten sind die Arbeit mit Überlebende spiritueller Mißbrauch und Seminaren über dieses Thema zu präsentieren.
  Man kann sie hier kontaktieren:
  Email: tempelmann@aol.com
  Hier ist die Quelle für diese Information: Hope for Europe Ich bemühe mich mehr Informationen über spiritueller Mißbrauch auf Deutsch zu finden.

Webseiten auf Deutsch:

• Bürger Beobachten Sekten
  Und siehe deren Adressen und Beratungsstellen Seite.
• Für mehr Literatur über Sekten gehe zu: http://www.religio.de/arw/ Das Original von meiner Übersetzung, Self-Proclaimed Shepherds, Hirten im eigenen Auftrag von Friedrich Wilhelm Haack, is noch zu haben und vieles mehr.
  "Ebenso auf evangelischer Seite entstand die Arbeitsgemeinschaft für Religions- und Weltanschauungsfragen in München. Sie wurde 1965 von dem evangelischen Theologen Friedrich Wilhelm Haack gegründet.... Sie steht in enger Zusammenarbeit mit der Evangelisch-Lutherischen Kirche in Bayern.
  Sie hat sich die Aufgabe gestellt, durch gegenseitige sachliche Information Brücken für Gespräche zwischen den Glaubensgemeinschaften und der Evangelisch-Lutherischen Kirche zu schlagen und vor allem den evangelischen Gemeinden in Bayern durch Auskunft und Beratung zu dienen.
  So wird die Arbeitsgemeinschaft inzwischen immer mehr von Glaubensgemeinschaften mit Informationen unterstützt und um Auskunft gebeten. Sie versucht, auf diesem Wege Gegensätze abzubauen, aber auch Grenzlinien deutlich zu machen. Sie unterhält zum Zwecke der Information und der Beratung ein Archiv, das Material über religiöse und weltanschauliche Bewegungen und Organisationen der Gegenwart enthält. Das Schrifttum wird durch Bild- und Tonmaterial ergänzt. Der Informationsbereich ist nicht auf Deutschland begrenzt. Es bestehen auch Kontakte zu Religions- und Weltanschauungsgemeinschaften in europäischen und überseeischen Ländern."
• www.efb.ch "Die Evangelische Fernbibliothek ist eine private Versandleih-Bücherei mit Sachbüchern v.a. zu christlichen Themen und aus christlichen Verlagen. Die EFB ist ein unabhängiges Medienwerk auf christlicher Grundlage und keiner Konfession oder Glaubenskultur verpflichtet. Die EFB wurde 1988 in Rüti ZH gegründet und hat seit 1995 ihren Sitz in Wetzikon ZH."
• www.relinfo.ch/ Diese Site beinhaltet viele Informationen über Sekten und Randgruppen. "www.relinfo.ch wird getragen von der Evangelischen Informationsstelle: Kirchen - Sekten - Religionen, Wettsteinweg 9, 8630 Rüti ZH.
  Die Evangelische Informationsstelle ist eine Arbeitsstelle der evangelisch-reformierten Landeskirche des Kantons Zürich und wird unterstützt durch andere Kantonalkirchen der Deutschschweizerischen Kirchenkonferenz.
  Dank dieser Finanzierung durch die Landeskirche sind unsere Dienste unentgeltlich (unabhängig von der Konfession der ratsuchenden Person).
  Die evangelische Informationsstelle: Kirchen - Sekten -Religionen beobachtet und bespricht die religiöse Gegenwart mit ihrem verwirrend bunten Angebot und berät in allen Fragen, die sich im Zusammenleben mit kontroversen Glaubenshaltungen ergeben."

Wenn Du hierauf kommentieren willst oder Deine Geschichte über spiritueller Mißbrauch mitteilen willst gehe zu meinem Blog. Ich habe eine Seite dafür vorgesehen.

Notizen:

1. Original Englisch: "Spiritual abuse is the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person’s spiritual empowerment" The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Johnson & VanVonderen - in englischer Sprache.

2. Original Englisch: "Spiritual abuse occurs when a person in the position of spiritual authority uses his or her position to control another person. It involves placing the needs of the person in authority over the needs of the person seeking help. Spiritual abuse can also include forcing people to live up the rigid rules and contributes to a belief based on legalism. No matter how much the individual does or how hard they try it is never good enough leaving them feel unworthy spiritually......"

All websites, even though publicly available are not public domain. This according to The Digital Millenium Copyright Act of 1998. Go to http://www.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/dmca.pdf for a summary or to http://www.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/hr2281.pdf for a full version.

You may print, copy or reference this document for your own use but the name of the author, Carmen Brill, must be included and the copies or references must include a reference to this website, http://jamesfive19.com. You may not distribute this document in your name and you may not distribute it for profit.

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